I talk a lot about the yin and yang of sex, taking a more energetic, spiritual approach to understanding sex and intimacy. Today I’m going to get scientific.
The yin and yang of the hormones is pretty much the same as the yin and yang of the energies. There are the ‘yin’ hormones: oxytocin and vasopressin, the bonding hormones that give feelings of connection and satisfaction, and endorphins, the feel-good hormones; that are released by gentle, cuddly, sensual activities. And there are the yang hormones: dopamine, the reward chemical (and the addiction hormone) that leads you to want more (including more of your true love), and which leads to the production of the lust hormone, testosterone.
We need dopamine, it's the romance hormone, and it's stimulated by novelty and interesting activities, so it's important that your relationship is stimulating and not complacent. And you need the oxytocin as it's connecting and keeps you feeling good about each other, it provides resilience in your relationship. So both cuddles and interesting activities are necessary in a relationship to produce the balance of bonding and romance. You need the balance in the lead up to sex.
You also need the balance during sex. The trouble is though that we... read more